Traveling in a group is exhausting, especially if you need to sit on a loud bus for hours on end, to then go strolling trough a busy city. That is just too-much because you don’t have a moment rest. When I was in Paris recently, that’s what happened to me. We went with the bus, and yes, they found it a good idea to just keep on talking trough the mic. They asked random questions, and other people just shouted their answer. Even with earplugs the noise is too much (I mean, I’m glad I had those on me, because without them I might have not survived that trip).
If you are in a group, people expect that you are social, and being social for a whole day, nah, nothing for me. It requires all my powers, because trying to be ‘normal’ is really hard. As the trip went on, I became more and more exhausted, and I became a silent zombie (I actually was more like a robot, following and executing commands).
When I’m exhausted, it’s like all sensory inputs just enter my brain at double power, and even whilst trying to shut myself of from the world, I still entered that zombie mode, trying to process all the inputs, trying not to get some sort of meltdown (I didn’t had one of those for a long, long time, and the group I was with, would not have understood…).
And a trip like that also breaks structure (I obviously was the only one that preferred to have a normal day). The structure means predictability, what makes me calm. Even tough I knew what was going to happen, there still happened things that weren’t planned (partially because of the bad weather). Sometimes I wanted that humanity understood me a bit better, life would be so much easier…